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That's why our online service allows you to visit, observe, listen, and then decide when to take the next step. And at least the guys who I did meet were open to a woman my age, weight and looks. There is always someone else who will except me for who Overweight dating online am on the between, and not the outer shell. Well, you touched on it yourself, Nicci, in your email. The extreme difference in behavior between women and men reflects their values and priorities when they are seeking partners. The Internet has brought many like-minded obese people together and changed their lives for the solo forever. You should be skeptical of any dating coach who suggests otherwise, just yo make you feel better. The rest of the profile details were the same for both.

I met a man on this woman, he's definitely attractive and he started the conversation dating a compliment that was online. Because they do outcomes research! I was in that relationship for three years. That seemed to be particularly devastating to them after an otherwise nice interaction.

Obese Love - But hey--you don't need to be chubby to join this site either; if you are attracted to big and beautiful women or big handsome men and want to find a place to meet those living in your area, you are more than welcome to get in on the fun! They may have that interpretation of themselves, but others may not.

My problem is deciding how to list my body type. The guys who have made contact have been people that I probably would not have dated normally, i. You have to be asking yourself — is it REALLY in my best interests to tell the truth if 95% of guys are going to dismiss me for doing so? This is the online dating dilemma that faces MILLIONS of people each day. Most of these people are good people — and yet they give in to the temptation to lie. Because telling the truth is a FAILING strategy. Well, you touched on it yourself, Nicci, in your email. This creates a vicious circle. Women know that men prefer thin, so they adjust their descriptions accordingly. Why do men look at you and not write to you? Fact is, we all window shop online. How many men have you looked at? How many did you write to? Ignore how many people look at you. It is misleading and can only serve as a tool that makes you feel rejected. Which is why over the past nine years. Better photos, better essays, better usernames, better email technique. Do everything 25% better and it can make a remarkable difference in your life. Still, no matter how much rebranding we do, life is still not going to be fair. Men are still largely going to prefer young, thin women. Women are still going to prefer tall, successful men. All we can do is tackle this confidently, and not get too thrown by the many bumps in the road. The man who wants you is going to WANT a curvy girl. I swear to God, I have heard this complaint every single day for nearly a decade. And it always baffles me. Me : Then why would you expect the percentage to be any higher online? If, by definition, 95% of men are wrong for you, it should be expected that many will be unemployed, uneducated, older and inappropriate. Focus your energies on attracting and maintaining the 5% that you want. And so it is, Nicci. Understanding this about online dating is essential to your success. Click here to learn more and kickstart your love life today. Warmest wishes, Your friend, Evan 1. Generally no one like a liar though. They may have that interpretation of themselves, but others may not. Many women have a strong preference for a tall man. Men sometimes lie about their height outright and women dislike that. But when I did OLD I would get pretty irritated at women that would deliberately misrepresent themselves as smaller than they actually are. That was before I had the full body pic rule. Then I can judge for myself what is curvy or not. Guys told me I had to be wary of the myspace shot — the over the head at an angle downward shot that makes the breasts look as though ther extend past the stomach and simultaneously hides any extra chins. My policy was basically to assume that a woman looked like her worst picture. Say there were three pictures: One of a women all done up at a charity auction, one of the same one dressed for work, and one of that same women shiny, sweaty and less thin looking after participating in a 5K. I would assume that last picture is the most accurate representation of the way woman looks and take it from there. Put up the same written profile with a thin model type and a pretty woman with thirty extra pounds and the thin model type will get 20x the the emails. So are there some men who prefer larger women? That is not an insult; it is an observation. You should be skeptical of any dating coach who suggests otherwise, just yo make you feel better. I remember one Jdate incident where the woman had only a head shot in her profile, and listed herself as petite when in fact she was far from petite. She was actually quite nice, but I was annoyed by her lie, and it got unnecessarily awkward when she continued to contact me after the date. I mean of you must select a body description then pick the one that accurately and honestly describes you. But any debate about this and who is petite and who is curvy should be solved with accurate pictures. Eventually you will meet and I would rather a guy know what he is getting. Just post the pictures and let him decide. Not old ones, not only head shots, not ones you have used a skinny app on. Just pictures that accurately reflect you. When I was in OLD, I was lied to about , age, height, employement, marital status, and smoking habits. As well as met men who posted pictures from 10 years ago, so when I met them, they bore very little resemblance to their pictures. Yes, I know women lie to on online profiles, but your question was about men. Many women have unreasonable height standards, many men refuse to date women their own age, etc. But lying is ineffective and will backfire. When you meet in person the truth will come out. When I was in OLD, I had recent accurate photos, full length and close up, and did not fudge on my age or divorce status or anything else. I only got a handful of e-mails a week, whereas with older pictures of me in my younger slimmer days could have bumped that up , but I only needed a handful of e-mails a week to eventually find the right one. And at least the guys who I did meet were open to a woman my age, weight and looks. Tell me something, is there a curvy or few extra pounds section when you are shopping? Other than a clothing store apparently petite and chubby are mutually exclusive terms. One I used, BrazilCupid. I believe it is because they are lying. I believe that both men and women lie on their profiles about their age, especially. So I normally assume that it is a good bet that the woman is taking 5 to 10 years off her age. Well, at least until the past couple years. Getting older I guess. I have an hourglass shape and am not fat. I do have about 20 pounds to lose before I hit my goal of 100 pounds lost, but I think that my photos give an accurate portrayal of my body. You are you no matter what word you use. If you are annoyed that curvy means fat now, I would suggest you start telling anyone who describes themselves as curvy who is significantly more than that to stop using that word. I have very close bust-waist-hip size to Ashley Graham. This is a hourglass shape, curvy. I have flipped the searches for females like me and see this frequently. If men do not feel confident that who they see in the picture, is what is showing up, I do not blame them for not contacting. This also goes for women that appear to have overfiltered or photoshopped photos, heavily contoured makeup. They may look like movie stars in. I have got better at identifying things in. I also reach out to the men I am. I date the photos and let it go from there. It may be a smaller dating pool yet if they are contacting me, dating me, enjoying kissing or hugging me, safe to say they like curvy. I call myself a BBW, and I love me. That should be the best way to go. I know that not everybody does that. Me, I am proud of who I am. There is always someone else who will except me for who I am on the inside, and not the outer shell. I have to agree with Evan about marketing yourself properly. I have professionally-shot pictures that get compliments all the time, and they are accurate photos the guys say so on dates. I have a hilarious essay that guys really respond to. I think of my curves as an asset. Just refresh your essay and pics — maybe get some feedback by friends or strangers? And see if your response rate changes. I was bombarded with replies. Honesty about your curves is good, but if your profile essay reflects your confidence in yourself, the men WILL respond. Hang in there, Nicci! Curves are a feature men like. Big enough butts and breast are a sexy feature. Fat is unfortunately a feature of American people now. Fortunately just not with me, since my family is smaller. Most Americans do not have that issue of being smaller. I do find that it seems unfair that men who are bigger than me should date women their own size. I am a man at just under 5-7 and only 130 and I would date girls my size or close but for me to date a girl way bigger than me is a complete TURN OFF. Bigger men should date the bigger women. That makes petite girls fair game for me. But life is not fair. I have dated taller than me and probably will be dating another as tall as I am. We are talking now. I am single still though. If she plays sports at all or works out, she could reasonably put athletic. While I may not be the majority, my first search is always slender + athletic and toned. I have no problem with using the system to get what I want, and I would never hold it against someone else either. Looks may land me initially, but personality will keep me in the long run. However much a gal may weigh, her beauty will flow from the inside out. Or, to put it another way: Dating is a lottery; the more people there are to choose from, the harder it will be to find the right one. I realize my weight is more of an issue than it is for men, as no guy seems to have a problem with it, but I still feel a certain degree of self-consciousness. She was charming and very funny and we soon called eachother and burned through whole cell batteries at a time. We hit it off very well and had a great time together. I have been steadily losing weight now that I am off the medication that caused me to gain it all, but I find that this in between period has been very difficult. I work out 6 days a week; I can run 6 miles at a time, etc and am, by all accounts, fit and athletic and curvy. Because I am carrying extra weight on my frame, I have found men to not be as interested and I have lost a lot of confidence that I once had. It will probably take another 6 months to lose the rest of my weight as I am doing it the old fashioned way — exercise and eating right — but to think it may take that long to find someone who is into me and my size is incredibly frustrating. I have a pretty face, a quick wit, and am a good conversationalist… I have been on several dates where I thought things have gone very well, but there has been little follow up. My profile on eHarmony has accurate, recent pictures, but I still wonder… Telling this story as I have here is not exactly something one should put in their online profile. Has anyone else had a similar experience at all? I was wanted, envied…despite my personal hell. I ended up hospitalized and got my gall bladder removed among treatment for the eating disorder. However, in the year since Ive gone from 100 lbs to 145, the way Ive gotten treated is astronomically different. I was so used to the attention from before…. I dont overlook overweight guys, but I do look a lot at the faces. I feel if I dont lose this weight quickly, Ill never find what I want. So, three things: 1 You need to change your SHAPE, not necessarily the weight. If you can afford a personal trainer, hire one. You need to build muscle to help you burn the fat. You need to learn to love yourself no matter what your shape. It took me 6 months to go down 2 sizes size 10 to size 6 — Anything worth having is worth waiting for, right? I never lacked for attention during that time. I would work on how you view you before working on losing weight. You said you are recovering from an EDO. Might it be your EDO rearing its head? Do you think restricting your diet after recovery is best for your health? Work on how you feel about you, dating will get better. As a size 8-10 UK, not sure what this is in US I got a lot of attention, but now as a UK 14-16, the attention I get from men has dwindled dramatically! When my body changes with pregnancy, is he going to go off me?? Kate Moss or Jennifer Aniston. I mean, what adjective would you pick to describe Salma Hayek? I figure the ones who are willing to date those of us with curves are more interested in the whole person, and not just our outward appearance. Do I really want to date someone who is so hung up on physique? And how honest are the men on these sites? I recently stumbled across the profile for one of my clients at work. He listed himself as divorced, when I know for a fact he is still just separated. And as a last. I found the most superficial men are on Match. I have had much better correspondence from men on MillionaireMatch. Unless they look like a model these men have zero value and get 0 responses. Most women have never been a man online to see the other side of the coin. My breast are really big like gg cup and I wear a size 8. I think it goes both ways online guys are simply too picky. My best friend who is blond haired, blue eyed and 100 pounds has been very successful with online dating. American standards of beauty are unreal! I feel like with online dating men are very superficial and feel like no matter how they look they still should be able to date with their preferences no matter what they are. I was bombarded with emails from men in online dating yet I had friend who got very few. Great looking women who maybe were not 9s or 10s but men ignored. I as a woman know who is in my league. I know who is likely out of it. Financially stable, but not wealthy. Very nicely toned arms and legs, but a little bit of a gut. She had a fairly nice figure, about a medium build, nice hip to waist ratio, with slightly chunky thighs. They are now happily married. It would be hard to objectively rate either one of them on the superficial scale of 1-10, but the way the gush over each other, it is easy to see that they both feel like they landed a TOTAL 10, in the looks and compatibility department combined. My guess is that objectively speaking they are both somewhere in the 6 — 7 range. Anyway, it would be hard for me to rate either one of them on the 1-10 scale objectively, because the man in question is my husband, and I am his wife. This is a great story. I have written over and over on other posts that chemistry and connection are only partially based on physical appearance and that you can be wildly attracted to someone who is not a 10. And yes Emily, there is more to chemistry than looks. He had a twinkle in his eye, and smitten school boy countenance that just drew me right in. I had NO make up, the sun was very bright making my skin look pale, my lips were chapped, the wind was blowing my bangs straight back. Unless they look like a model these men have zero value and get 0 responses. Most women have never been a man online to see the other side of the coin. Sometimes it can get lost in the muddle, trying to figure out who is responding to what. I had NO make up, the sun was very bright making my skin look pale, my lips were chapped, the wind was blowing my bangs straight back. That reminds me of a conversation I had with a guy friend a few months ago. He wanted to know why his girlfriend no longer wore make up. She wore it when they first started dating. I dodged the question. Look at me — how great am I! Indeed many of the threads on this blog dissect the issue. But on a serious level there probably is some truth that much of picking a partner — especially one we introduce to our friends and family — revolves around ego and status. Look at me — how great am I! Indeed many of the threads on this blog dissect the issue. Thanks so much for sharing. So much on this blog is so helpful, but there are a few commenters who appear to mainly come here to tell other people what to do ignoring their own very obvious flaws or to tear other people down. See how cleverly I did that? I lured you to respond by making a thinly veiled reference to you. Not because he enjoys it. Granted, I need to expand my social circle. He wanted to know why his girlfriend no longer wore make up. She wore it when they first started dating. I dodged the question. I thought … I am not wading into this landmine … You did well not to get into that. If he wanted to know, he should ask HER. The fact that he asked someone else leads me to believe he is disappointed. Once a relationship is established, there is more staying in than going out. Many women, weather single or married do not feel the need to wear make up to stay home and mop the floors. It might simply be that the woman only wears make up as part of an event that involves getting dressed up. It might simply be that the woman only wears make up as part of an event that involves getting dressed up. I think men interpret it as making an effort for them. I mean, with putting on the makeup. I mean, with putting on the makeup. They view it as dishonest. I pretty much only wore it for dress up occasions, and he would make snarky remarks about it. Why are coating your face with chemicals? He wanted me to be natural. My first husband pretty much wanted me to live in my make up. Actually, the makeup is one of the easiest and fastest parts of the beauty routine. Straightening my hair, showering, shaving, that takes more time. Offer to walk somewhere instead of drive. Newlwed I agree with Sam. I tell them if you want a fit man go on a diet and say it plain and clear on your dating profile: I love going to the gym! Men respect big women who are working on losing weight they get to brag about it to their friends but I find that men are getting tired of the bait and switch of overhead photographs hiding an obese body. Women who are dating need to be ojective and talk to some of their platonic male friends about weight they could understand the male perspective. Weight is something you can change. I met a guy in person after connecting on Tinder. My photos were accurate and current. I work out occasionally, running, yoga, weights. Same thing for guys under a certain height or income level. In the end, once you meet in person the truth will be out. Much better to be honest up front and rejected up front, than waste time on someone who will reject you later for the same reason if not also for your dishonesty. Evan is dead on about body type descriptors. Because so many people are not honest, all of the descriptors have become a euphemism for at least the next one beyond. That information can then be used to help you get more of what you want. If not, at the least, the honesty is refreshing. In the dating world, even especially? Telling people what it is, is often a thankless job. They care more about avoiding those things then making sure you have a realistic appraisal of the situation you are in. Would you rather get rejected in person after you lie and get the date? At any rate, Black and white descriptions are a load of crap. I agree with the ladies who said that you can be athletic and slim and toned and curvy — and petite too. I had a good friend in school who was five foot four, toned, hourglass figure, and va-va-voom whether she was a size 8 or a size 12. It has become a mannerism for overweight women to call themselves curvy or voluptuous. In turn; right or wrong, men have no idea what they are up against with such a woman. She was accused of being photo-shopped…the new excuse for attractive women. I have no personal problems with overweight people, but why is it a crime to work hard to develop real curves.? It really is THAT simple. What does that mean?? The average woman weighs 200lbs?? The average for THEIR height???